I’m changed. Everybody’s changed
It hit me several weeks ago that I’m too naive. I always put my trust to the wrong people. And in the end, you can guess, I’m the one who’s hurt.
Since a long long time ago, I’ve learned not to hurt anyone. Like when I have to pretend that I’m okay when it’s not, clench my teeth and try to smile, laugh at silly jokes my best friends told about me.
But now… I’m changed.
I won’t pity myself anymore for trying to make everyone happy while I’m hurt. I can’t make everyone happy, I realize that now.
What’s the use of that while I can’t even love my mind, my body, my life which getting tired and worsened day by day?
So, I decided to focus on my life and not getting my hopes up.
What happened several weeks ago remind me of what growing up is.
If I care too much, if I trust too much, if I love too much, I’ll cry in the end because of my one-sided effort.
It’s easier now…
I don’t know if I’m happier than yesterday, but I’d rather choose this way of life than hearing people talk bad behind my back, come when they needed me, ignore me when they didn’t, put me down with their lame jokes, or even worse…lecture me with God’s words as their knives.
I love God’s words, He’s my only strength. If it’s not for Him, my life will be meaningless. But these people… I… I can’t even… they talk to me as if I’m such a God-less people. You must do this, you must do that, when I know for sure how their lifestyle is. You know what, you can make your statuses on your social media to make yourself seems good, or fake your smile and gesture to impress others. But don’t do it to me. I know you… and it’s sad to see you become such a hypocrite. I hope that you’ll become a REAL good person someday. I want to see you do the same thing (your statuses, kind words to others, encouraging God’s words, encouraging quotes, sweet talkings, your time, your efforts) to YOUR OWN FAMILY, because I know for sure they needed it the most.
As for me, I’ve had enough. I want to live my life in a quiet way. You can think I’m running away from reality, well… yeah, I am. I need sunshine, rainbows, kind words, nothing hurts in my life. Even if I’m hurt, at least it’s not coming from the people I care the most.
End of rant.
Saat pekerjaan kita dihargai…
This is lovely ♥
Ketika tiba saat perpisahan janganlah kalian berduka, sebab apa yang paling kalian kasihi darinya mungkin akan nampak lebih nyata dari kejauhan – seperti gunung yang nampak lebih agung terlihat dari padang dan dataran.